anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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