Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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