my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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