Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
