margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
only if we run a train.
done.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
