saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
