i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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