i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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