You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
