Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize