my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dignity is for republicans.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
