**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
