yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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