Say something about gay babies.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
