Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
