I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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