Non-Jews are for practice
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
