I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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