I met the friendliest cop last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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