And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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