oh god the rape fog is back!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
