Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
