im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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