this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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