where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
