somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
