I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
