WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
