my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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