Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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