I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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