If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Randomize
