How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize