I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
