yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
