I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
