wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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