it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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