very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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