If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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