Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
