I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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