he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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