i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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