On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You smell like stripper and shame
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
