Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have aggressive nipples.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
