Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize