doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I need water and some morals
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
