im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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