I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
