Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I believe in your delicious
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
