I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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