I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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