they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
