I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
