I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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