Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
