Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
