Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
