How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
