PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and she was petting her beer can
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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