sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
