I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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